The universal sign of surrender

 Just another Skype conversation that happened today...

• Me: I got a leopard-print neck wrap for my neck and shoulder. Hopefully it helps my neck/shoulder pain if not it matches my snuggy
• Him: Animal print?
• Him: Why?
• Me: Because it was that or zebra...
• Him: Buy another item
• Me: That's all there was
• Him: Animal prints make women look like cougars. 
• Him: They have a subtext of predatory animals. A woman on the prowl
• Him: You aren't prowling.  you've found your victim! (me)
• Him: I surrender!
• Him: See, I’ll lie with my belly exposed, the universal sign of surrender and married men

Aggressive Time Savings Measures Act of 2010 & Ski Bum Soundtrack

I’ve got my Whistler Blackcomb EDGE card and I’m ready for winter!!!

Every other weekend, my husband, his bestfriend and I leave Vancouver early in the morning and drive up to Whistler for a day of skiing and snowboarding. The number one must-have for the drive up is a great play-list. So I'm going to be prepared! A drive-up-pre-ski playlist, a while-I-ski playlist as well as an apres-ski playlist. Time to make new playlists for the ski season!

A number two must-do for the drive is not stop to pee. Yup, you read that right, no pee breaks. No pee breaks!!! The “Aggressive Time Savings Measures Act of 2010” was enacted last year... by the guys of course. After a few weekends of stopping for a pee-stop and coffee in Squamish the guys had enough of getting up to Whistler later than they wanted. I was making them late. My small bladder was slowing things down. The Squamish stop on the way to Whistler was voted out of our journey.

So, I'm not allowed to have morning coffee anymore because I always have to stop in Squamish to use the bathroom. I like to buy snacks too since the guys don't seem to ever get hungry. If I want coffee I have to wake up extra early, drink it at home and make sure my bladder is empty before boarding the ski-bum-mobile. We must get as many hours and runs in as possible. This is the way it is for this girl if she wants to hang out with the boys. It's ok because I kick their asses on the mountain. I gotta give them something, right?

Anyway, here's some of the music I'll be adding to my playlists



Sleigh Bells - “Riot Rhythm”
MGMT - “Kids”
Foster the Kids - “Pumped Up Kicks”
Temper Trap - “Sweet Disposition” great for cruising
Yeah Yeah Yeahs = “Zero”
The Vaccines - “Wetsuit”
Arcade Fire - “Neighbourhood #1” walked around Paris listening to this
Florence + The Machine - “No Light, No Light”
Apostle of Hustle - “Chances are”
Metric - “Help I'm Alive”
Phoenix - “If I ever feel better”
Caribou - “Melody Day”
Stars - “Take me to the Riot”
Kate Nash - “Pumpkin Soup”
Metric - “Stadium Love”
Built to Spill - “Else”
M.I.A. - "“Paper Planes”
Brazilian Girls - “Good Time”

A bagged lunch

This is what happened when I asked AF to pack my lunch. No, he didn't use the many, many reusable containers we have. He chose to use a GIANT freezer bag. He didn't want to "break" or "bend" the brocolini.

Here's another shot of my lunch. I wonder what he would have done if I asked him to pack my soup? A garbage bag?

Is this one of those tricks that guys do? Do what you're asked to do wrong? So that I'll do it myself next time and you get away with having to do nothing? Hmmmmm..... Do you know it did make me do though? It made me laugh really, really hard.

Note: This not my whole lunch. This is just a "pre" lunch. I have a lunch around noon or before and then I eat again later.

Well trained...

[11:30] Yeo: I need your opinion
[11:31] Taquito Coordinator: no, your ass does not look fat in that outfit

I was going to ask him a programming question... but ok, I'll take it. :-)

Boy on brussel sprouts

J: 'healthy' is overrated
AF: 'unhealthy' is the definition of bad for you.
J: it depends
AF: how so?
J: brussels sprouts are bad but they're not unhealthy
AF: not "bad" but "bad for you"
J: hahaha
J: totally didn't read it that way
AF: i realize that now. funny
AF: i can't believe we're friends and you don't like brussels sprouts
AF: i will have to reevaluate my friend screening process :P
AF: they are the best tiny cabbages served at thanksgiving dinners nation-wide
J: they smell like feet
J: and taste about the same
J: i feel like throwing up just thinking about brussels sprouts
AF: i'll remember that for the future
J: why is that worthy of remembering for you?
AF: in case we are in a life threatening situation and the only solution involves vomit
AF: it's good to know how to get a ready supply
AF: "oh no! the emergancy door release is behind that new glass that can only be broken by the acids in human vomit!"
"quick, J! Think about brussel sprouts!"
"blrrrrgggggggggghhhhhh"
"we're saved!"
J: i don't know anyone quite like you
AF: i'm going to take that as a compliment



///////



ME: how did the conversation start with healthy?
AF: we were talking about the voodoo involved in calculating BMI and she asserted that gyms suck and health is overrated
AF: to which i uncharacteristically took the side of health advocate
AF: also i was pretty proud of my line "unhealthy is the definition of bad for you"
AF: even though it caused confusion
AF: i felt clever in my mind
ME: where do you come up with that stuff?
AF: the many hundreds of hours i've spent alone in a room have helped me build an active imagination and warped perspective
ME: the hundreds of hours I've spent alone running have helped me build an active imagination but not a warped perspective

Hey AF, while I'm away...

and you're hungry and missing my cooking and getting hungrier while you stare at the refridgerator and then stare at the stove and then back at the refridgerator and then at Mila while she meows at you...

You can skip all that and look here http://www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/

Boys and kale Boys, Kale & Unicorns

An email to me from AF

Peter brought in baked kale for everyone today. It’s so crispy and salty.

And the aftertaste! It makes my coffee breath seem like fresh dew mixed with fabreeze and unicorn breath (which I’m told smells amazing)

AF

My "found-internet-art" addition to this email...  FIERCE!

Would you like to join me for some fine champagne?

This weekend was awesome! AWESOME! My boyfriend and I went up to the family cabin with intentions of biking lots, hiking lots, kayaking lots and running lots. Oh and maybe even a dip in the lake. OK, maybe it was just me with intentions of doing all that. Really, who can fit in that many activities in ONE weekend? My boyfriend's only goal was to get one hike in and lots of rest. Or so I thought...

So Saturday, we spent the morning putting our bikes together and fiddling around with them. I think we were both nervously stalling. You know, like this...
ME: Are you ready?
AF: Yah sure I'm ready if you're ready.
ME: You go first.
AF: No, you go first.
ME: No, you!
AF: Are you ready?
ME: Yah, I'm ready.
AF: Let's go already!!!
ME: OK, um sure.
AF: Oh wait, I think I need to adjust my seat.
ME: Oh ok. I'm going to change my shoes...
We pushed our bikes up the super steep driveway and realize that the smooth, beautiful road is REALLY STEEP!

Running the hills is much easier than pedaling up these hills! HOLY SHIT! We rode around till it wasn't fun anymore. We swore more than ride. Really it's just oh, the first 10 hills you have to get over then it's smooth sailing and then there's more hills. They aren't small hills either. They are BIG! Such noobs! What babies! Everything is HUGE when you're new on a bike. I generally have no fear. I just don't think that way. But two stupid meetings over 10 years ago between my bike and two different cars in one week has got it stuck in me that bikes are a bit scary. I know I'll get over it, it will just take a little bit of time. NO FEAR!

We abandon the idea of riding out to Garden Bay to get a few things for breakfast from the general store. Instead we run to the comfort of our motorized vehicle. Roll down the windows and let the wind blow in our hair... and (ahem) dry off our sweat. Of course we laugh at ourselves on our great adventure. We will have to try again next time. heheh

We finish breakfast, pack lunches and head out for our hike. My boyfriend had been super stoked for this hike all week. He talked about how his family often did this hike up Mount Daniel when they were kids. He was SUPER STOKED.

Let me tell you something about AF. We are COMPLETE opposites. I run run run a-run run run and he sits. I get up at 5 or 6 a.m. and he sleeps in till past 10 a.m. and if I don't bother him he will sleep till 1 p.m. In my world he's lazy, in his world I'm crazy. If there's a mountain, I say, "Let's go climb it!" He'll say, "Nah, let's go home and take a nap." It's perfect. If I'm doing a very long run, he'll wake up just in time to pick me up. Or if it's a shorter run. He'll be up just in time to go for coffee. So I was really happy about going on a hike! TOGETHER!! I thought that maybe he had come around to my side. He LIKES hiking!

Anyway... we make it up to the top of Mount Daniel! (about 45 minutes). Look at the view!

Here in this picture I'm lying on a rock looking over Garden Bay and Pender Harbour. This is where AF says, "Let's take pictures!" So, I tell AF to take a picture and to try make it look like I'm lying dangerously at the edge of a cliff. Dangerous! He takes a few pictures and tells me to turn around so that he can take more pictures of me facing the camera with the view in the background. I turned around but I don't see the camera. It looks like he's kneeling to take a picture of me. But he's not taking a picture of me. Instead AF's got a silver bell in his hand and I think to myself, "Is that a silver bear bell? Why is he showing me a silver bear bell? Where is the camera? Why is the bear bell silver? Is it a bell?" AF's got a big smile on his face. I'm still thinking about the bear bell, wondering where the camera went and wondering in general. WHAT. IS. UP?

AF opens up the silver bell and says, "Winnie, will you marry me?" so then the light bulb finally turns on and I scream, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!? OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!" He was down on one knee holding out a silver Birks Silver Bell Box not a bear bell!!! I didn't fall off Mount Daniel but I did start crying and laughing at the same time. I said, "Yes!" Of course, only because I was there on the edge of a dangerous cliff!

To top it all off, AF snuck up a bottle fine champagne to celebrate. AF is so wonderful. :-)

My boyfriend and I were fighting today Unicorn and bear fight

And this is how we fight... we weren't really fighting today but if we did, that's how we would.

He sleeps so well...

Last night there was a noise in our apartment and I tried to wake my boyfriend to go see what it was. But he just sleeps so damn well and continued to snore is merry way in dreamland and so I had to get up and check out the situation...
[10:15] him: i'm a tad cranky this morning
[10:56] him: also, after you woke me up last night i couldn't stop thinking about zombies attacking our apartment
[10:56] him: and i lay awake for like an hour with one eye open
[10:56] me: lol
[10:56] him: we watched Zombieland last night
[10:57] him: i decided that i will need to put a zombie rated weapon near my bed for future sleepless nights
[10:57] him like a bat, or golf club

Again, boys...

[16:11] him: I could have had NIGHT VISION GOOGLES!!!!!!!!!
[16:11] him: GOGGLES
[16:11] me: ?
[16:12] him: The "Collector's Edition" of the game i bought today comes with freakin night vision goggles
[16:12] him: i'm sure they are cheaply made and work like shit
[16:12] him: but they still achieve the promise of NIGHT VISION
[16:12] him: I'm SO MAD
[16:12] him: ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'

Boys....

Or should I say, nerds...

Here's an email from my BF today

Saturday is the bi-annual Axis and Allies day. Pope thinks I should approach these things with you differently, so it seems like I am being productive while still relaxing. Here goes:

On Saturday after I empty the dishwasher I’m going to take out the recycling around 3-ish and then pop over to Pope’s for a quick* game.


:-)



* quick compared to geological scales of time

Programmers...

#1 is true, the rest, not so much.

I'm telling on you!

Last night some guy I know went over to the house of another guy I know to play video games. What I didn't know was that he took a WHOLE brick of cheddar cheese with him. This was BIG brick, not one of those skinny little ones, but a biiiig one!